Worried about someone?

Is a student you know having a hard time? Are you worried? Don’t ignore this feeling. Discover how you can recognise the signs and what you can do as a friend, parent or staff member of the college or university. At the bottom of the page you can click through for more tips tailored to your needs. 

Are you OK? Four signs of emotional problems

These signs may indicate that a student is struggling:

  • Changes in behaviour: concentration or eating problems, alcohol or drug abuse, reckless behaviour, agitation, restlessness, a bad temper, excessive anxiety, and so on.

  • Withdrawing: going out and meeting friends and family less than before, being more quiet and introverted than usual.

  • Changes in emotions: irritability or anger, fear or lethargy, crying more easily.

  • Saying that things are not going well: statements such as “I’m at a loss” or “I can’t go on”. Avoiding questions, and answers such as “I’m fine” or “I don’t want to bother you with my problems” can be a sign that things are not going well. Online, emojis like 😟😕😢😖😧😩😫😭 and hashtags such as #lonely, #lost, #givingup, #theend can indicate that a student is struggling.

Talk about it! Three golden rules for a helpful conversation

  • Ask: start the conversation, name the signs and express your concerns. By talking openly and asking questions, you can assess the seriousness of the problem together. If you believe that someone is thinking about suicide, ask them, “Do you ever think about death?” and “Do you sometimes think about suicide?”. It is a misconception that this question would incite action.

  • Convince: show understanding for their feelings. You don’t have to give advice or offer solutions right away. You are already helping a lot by being there, listening and thinking along. Encourage them to look for help and find out together who they can turn to.

  • Refer: stay true to your role; you’re not a professional. You don’t have to fix the problem yourself. Simply identify the signs and act as a referrer. If the threshold is too high, you can suggest making the appointment together or join them for the first appointment. Perhaps together with you, they will be able to overcome this hurdle.