Worried about your child? Tips for parents
If your child is feeling bad, you worry and want to help. But how do you do that?
What can you do?
Don’t take it personally. Is your child snippy or distant? Don’t think, “What did I do wrong?” but rather, “What’s going on?”.
Ask what is wrong. Have a conversation, name the signs that are worrying you and express your concerns. By talking openly and asking questions, you can assess the seriousness of the problem together. This question can be a good conversation starter: “I noticed that you have not been yourself lately. Is that right? I’m a bit worried.”
Listen and don’t interrupt your child. Let your child talk, be understanding and do not judge. You don’t have to give advice or offer solutions right away. Maybe you don’t know what to say. Just say so, that can also start a conversation.
Convince them to seek help. Stay true to your role, don’t forget that you’re a parent and not a professional. You don’t have to fix the problem. Talk and encourage your child to seek help. There are people at colleges and universities who can lend a listening ear. Refer your child to this offer by saying, “Let me help you to get help.”
Do things together. First and foremost, try to be there for your child. Regularly ask how things are going and what you can do. Send a text once in a while. Take the initiative to do something fun together and make concrete suggestions.
Things not to say
You are making it worse than it is.
It will pass. Don’t worry about it.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
You’re just imagining it all.
It could have been much worse.
I know exactly how you feel.
Just don’t think about it anymore.
Get support
Find out where your child can go for a chat or for urgent help.
Do not write yourself off. Take care of yourself.
Protect your boundaries. Emotional problems can weigh heavily on you. So take care of your own carrying capacity; it makes no sense to completely forget about yourself. Regularly schedule quality time for yourself and don’t neglect your other family members and contacts.
Is it too much to handle? Some problems are too big for you to bear alone. You can also turn to your GP or a psychologist with your concerns about your child.
Seek contact with fellow sufferers. There are initiatives that also or specifically focus on the needs of loved ones. Discover an overview of such initiatives here.
